Friday, March 03, 2006

News of the Weird

I wish Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird" were discussed by every cable TV news show and shown on the front page of every newspaper. It's available on-line at newsoftheweird.com, and I read it regularly in the "Leo." I first discovered it back in Wisconsin in the Milwaukee "Shepherd Express," the Milwaukee equivalent to the Leo.

I blogged a couple weeks ago about the recently declassified news that Stalin wanted to build super-soldier apes for the Soviet Union, a plot right out of the comic books that I read every week. Now comes this story from this week's News of the Weird: "The Times of London reported in January that according to recently released government files from the 1980s, the administration of Prime Minister Thatcher appeared seriously concerned that poachers posed a threat to the Loch Ness monster (if and when it revealed itself). (Also in those files, as reported in News of the Weird in 2004, was a letter from Swedish officials seeking advice from the Nessie-experienced British on protecting Sweden's own underwater Lake Storsjo monster.) "

How does that not end up a major media story? Wouldn't it be news if President Bush tried to formulate a plan for how the U.S. government could protect Bigfoot? And by the way, who has heard of the Lake Sorsjo monster? What makes Nessie so special that he/she is a household name while the Lake Sorsjo monster toils away in anonymity? I mean, I know Britain practiced a worldwide cultural imperialsim during the colonial era, but come on, other countries have monsters too. For example, I wish people would talk more about the African mokele mbembe, allegedly a surviving dinosaur.

Also, News of the Weird had a story about a guy who tried to burglarize an old folks home. The senior citizens proceeded to attack him, beat him, and tie him up. They proceeded to take pictures for good measure and a photo ran in the local newspapers. His lawyer pleaded for clemency, saying his client would "never be able to hold his head up in the criminal community again." Now if you ask me, this has all the elements of a hit movie. It combines the motifs of Home Alone and Grumpy Old Men. It could be huge.

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