Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I promise this post will be more interesting than the last one

I just read that the Badgers won the cross country championship (men's). I wish people would make a bigger deal out of this. I remember when they won the soccer national championship (men's) in 1996 and no one cared. Hey, when the Packers are 2-8, you've gotta latch onto something.

Today I got my December "Blender" magazine in the mail. I subscribe to three magazines: Blender, Spin, and Sports Weekly. I don't have time to read any of them in depth, but try to skim through them. Blender, which is Maxim's music offshoot, is the easiest to skim because of its lowest common denominator layout and prose style. An interesting article was the top 50 most extravagant rock purchases. Here are the Top 10 with my comments:

10. Kanye West $350,000 on a complete re-creation of Michaelangelo's painting of the Sistine Chapel. He calls himself a "ghetto pope." Perhaps he could have put some of that money toward helping black people displaced by Katrina.

9. Nelly $385,000 on not just a Rolls-Royce, but one with an interior lined with mink fur. I'd like to see PETA criticize Nelly, and for him to respond with an anti-PETA screed, then for PETA to enlist Paul McCartney to write a rap to dis Nelly, then for Nelly to sample any Ted Nugent song

8. The KLF in 1994 set $1.7 million on fire as a publicity stunt. The fact that no one today has heard of the KLF makes one wonder if they would have been better served, I don't know, saving the money for their kids college education or retirement or something.

7. Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood $66,000 to set up a pub in the Stone's recording studio. For some reason this strikes me as a little high on the list. I don't see what the big deal is. I feel like Keith Richards probably bought enough booze for Wood to turn a profit. Maybe that's why he wasn't allowed full-fledged status in the band for the first 20 years he was in it.

6. Rod Stewart $100,000 for his own soccer field. My college had to play their soccer games at the football stadium. Then the league complained and they had to play in the library's back yard and had when it would rain they would be playing in puddles.

5. Elton John $419,000 on flowers in a one year span. Hope they cheered him up. He always seems kind of down.

4. Mick Fleetwood $8 million on cocaine in his lifetime. He should have done like Ozzy and taken to snorting up ants. I'm sure after ingesting a certain level of cocaine you can hardly tell the difference anymore.

3. The Beatles $510,000 to Magic Alex. This is a story that really needs to be told more often. This guy named Alex (who called himself Magic Alex) conned John Lennon into thinking he (Alex) was an electronic genius who could invent force fields and electronic paint and stuff like that. All he needed was money. The Beatles had just started their own company (called Apple, but not the computer company) and hired Alex and gave him funding. Needless to say, Apple went bankrupt.

2. Michael Jackson $1 million to Marlon Brando just to appear at Jacko's 30th anniversary show in 2001. Brando sat on a recliner on stage, introduced himself as an "old fat fart" and joked about children getting hacked to death by machetes. Anyone who has seen "The Making of Apocalypse Now" can't help but hate Brando, but he was pretty cool in the Superman movie, and they are using old footage of him in the new Superman film next year. Alas, no appearance by Michael Jackson.

1. Elvis $3387.28 for a sandwhich. Kind of a long story, but the King got hungry for a kind of sandwhich made only in Denver, and made a trip on his private jet just for the sandwhich. If I were as rich as Elvis, I might do the same thing. There's nothing like a good sandwhich.


Blogger Hollis said...

Haha, I liked this blog. Especially about Kanye and Nelly.

I guess Kanye's not involved with any Gold Diggers, but it seems he's not helping broke...well you get my point.

4:22 PM  

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